Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
