So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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