Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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