Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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