Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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