he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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