Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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