he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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