remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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