happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
