I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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