Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
