I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
NoShamevember. You game?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
