woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
