one might say we're banned from that church
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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