This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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