there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I AM VODKA MAN
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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