well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Everyone says I win the strip club
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
