Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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