So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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