The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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