I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
