yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
