You made me cry and you don't even care
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
