i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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