He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
