Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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