VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
