i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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