from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They took my balls.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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