Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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