So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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