i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
