how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
