South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
