I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
