that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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