That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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