i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
