haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i will never coherently bang her
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
