Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
