This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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