Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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