my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize