Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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