I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
