Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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