i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
