i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
