Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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