I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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