Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
