did you get engaged???
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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