He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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