I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
