i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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