Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's official drugs can't kill me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize