No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
