So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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