the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
