first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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