I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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