I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
