you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.