wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
