Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
